I like the metaphor that #HIV is the Queen Bee and I am the BeeHIVe. It gives me hope and a clear positive image that I can rely on in those moments of self-doubt and negativity. She survives only as long as I survive.
That is what our meds do. They create a symbiotic relationship between #Hivaids and its host, us. Science works. I’d be on my way out if it didn’t so I am grateful to all of those who work on the life-saving medicine that keeps me kicking.
But it doesn't change the fact that life is and can be hard. We sometimes just have hard moments. I try to keep in mind that hard moments are just that, quick little flashes that come and go. That’s why having a strong mental game, a healthy body and tools in the toolbox to help us when these moments appear.
Yesterday, I had one. I woke up sad. I don’t know why. There wasn’t any reason to be off but it cast a grey shadow on my morning and the beginning of my run which was only supported when I was stung by a bee and not a metaphorical one.
I knew it. I felt it. I owned it and let it be like the bee and the pulsing pain from the sting in my neck. Usually, when we let bees be, they do no harm. Most of the time, but they are bees. Sometimes they sting us. It’s in their nature.
Like it’s part of the human condition to have ups and downs. It’s natural. It’s a side effect of the opposable thumb and reason. With the ability to reason our thoughts comes the ability to make right choices and wrong ones. So ups and downs are normal.
It wasn't until the two trees in the photo that I found peace with my day. Trees represent a lot and this pair represented my mom and dad, pillars in my life, at that exact moment. Strong. Rooted. Green. Alive.
Like you and me. We are strong. We are survivors. We have weathered a storm that has changed the very landscape of our lives. Our HIV+ moment one changed our path to the Horizon. Now that we have adapted to the shift, it’s time to build the best version of ourselves.
Reach out if you need some help. - D